The Beginning

This is my journal for my journey through Triple Negative Breast Cancer. 

The plan is to share details to inform family and friends and to help others who may travel this journey. I don't know what I'll write yet so know that it could get emotional, well, because my emotions have been all over the place and there might be what some might consider TMI, yet I feel like there's so much that I'm learning that I didn't know even though I am a health/science/sexuality educator and well-informed and went through this journey with others in my life-most survived, some did not.

I also know that I am a white passing woman with really good insurance, I speak English well, I am educated, and I have medical professions in my family. I have my own business and have a lot of flexibility in my schedule. I also have money in the bank to pay the numerous co-pays. And I have people around me to help support me emotionally, spiritually and physically through this process.

6/21/2022 Yearly 3-D Mammogram, inconclusive, as has been the case for most of my mammograms I get. I must return for a follow up ultrasound as usual. Because of scheduling or insurance, I'm not sure which, I must wait a week.

6/27/2022 Return for ultrasound and they see two masses in my right dense breast tissue, I must return for a biopsy. I was concerned because usually my journey ends with the ultrasound. I contact the big cancer center. It takes them 7 days to call me back.

7/11/2022 My birthday. I celebrate with family and friends knowing the biopsy is looming over my head. I decide not to tell most people because I know it will be okay, yet there's a little nagging knowing that knows it will be cancer.

 7/12/2022 2 biopsies taken from my right breast. I was awake with local numbing. I used my breathing techniques to stay calm. The other people in the room noted that my breathing helped them. This was actually a good experience. Both the tech and radiologist were kind, knowledgable and good at what they do.

7/13/2022 I get the call. One mass is a benign lymph node and the other is a malignant tumor. I must return for an MRI. This time they schedule me quickly and I really appreciate that. Now I'm angry, sad and everything feels surreal. I've lived such a healthy life since I got sober and really didn't think "it" could happen to me.

7/14/2022 MRI finds a second small mass in my left breast and suspicious tissue surrounded my malignant tumor. It could just be inflammation because two days before I had two biopsies on that breast.

7/15/2022 BC Surgeon of the small hospital calls me to come in for results and my 1st surgery appt.

7/20/2022 New BC Surgeon at cancer center. She says I don't qualify for a PET scan even though my tumor is not in a duct or gland. She was direct and wanted me to know how serious my diagnosis was. Here is where I started to feel like a number more than a person. We know what works, we don't care how you feel or what you think.

7/27 MRI biopsy of left breast. So disappointed with my care. They asked at when scheduling appt if I wanted something to relax me. I said yes. When I arrived at my scheduled time, they didn't have anything. They asked me to come at 7:15. I waited 45 min before they took me in. Why have me get up so early to wait? 

There are 6 people in the room. The nurse and the radiologist fellow are the only ones who speak to me.The radiologist barely talks to me; never tells me what's going to happen or happening. It felt like they jammed the needle with the lidocaine into the center of my breast. I screamed. I have a high tolerance for pain. 

When it's all over, I end up w some sterile strips over the incision and I'm handed a disposable ice bag to put on after my mammogram. Of course during the mammogram to make sure the placement marker is in the right spot, my breast is squeezed and starts to bleed. I have to search for someone to give me gauze.

Still waiting for my genetic testing. It was a STAT (quick turnaround time) panel for genes connected to breast cancer. It's been 8 days.

7/29/2022 I meet the oncologist and I have a ton of questions. This is when I am hoping to get my treatment plan. The oncologist looks like he is the same age as my oldest son-23. He is knowledgable and kind and open to all of my questions. His nurse is helpful with handouts and pictures of what he's talking about. All of my questions about treatment, side affects, if I can work, etc are answered.

My tentative treatment plan is 4 rounds of AC every 2 weeks followed by 12 rounds of T every week. My surgery will be after that time, Depending on the type of surgery I choose, mastectomy (no radiation follows) or lumpectomy (radiation follows).

7/30/2022

I feel better now that there's a plan and I can prepare for what's to come. My emotions are closer to the surface and I find myself laughing, crying or being angry much more quickly than pre-BC.