Jacqueline's Cancer Journey

 I've been staying active with yoga and pickle ball as I am trying to prepare mind, body and spirit for this new journey. Fitting in as many clients as I can, cleaning, cooking, connecting. Over dinner with my guys, I declare that I will shave my head. Ethan says he will do it too and then Aaron says the same. I am humbled that the want to support me like that-even if they change their minds day of. I decide to invite a few others eat and join in. I ask my friend Inkyu, who's a hairdresser, to come over to shave our heads the night before chemo begins. It was a joyous and slightly teary event for me. I was supposed to go last, but after Ethan had his buzzed, I knew I had to go next and not change my mind. The hardest part was having the braid (for donation) clipped. I enjoyed the massage-like sensation of the clippers on my scalp. I felt so loved and supported. And I appreciate all the texts, cards, donations and supportive comments.

 8/16-20/2022 My sister and I planned a trip to Las Vegas before my diagnosis. I wasn't sure if we would still be able to go, and they worked my chemo schedule around the trip. It was so needed on all levels and for both of us. We ate well, slept well, went to the hot tub and pool each day and spent some time on the strip, seeing shows and walking around.  There were many laughs and a few tears. Being with people who feel like home is important to me now and always.

 8/12/2022 Met with my oncologist for the second time. Confirmed my chemo treatment, my health and received a bunch of prescriptions to help me through chemo. I am glad that they worked with me and my schedule so I could still go on vacation with my sister, Jennifer, to Las Vegas for 5 days of relaxation and fun. My treatments are scheduled to begin 8/26. My teaching job at the college starts on 8/23 so I'll meet my students before chemo starts. One of the biggest challenges during chemo is that my immune system will be low at certain times and being around germs is not good for me. My mental state is good most of the time. I have bouts of tearing up. The anger has mostly passed. People are asking me what I need, and it's challenging because I don't know. I have time to prepare physically and mentally AND I just don't know how I will feel and what I will be able to do. I've been doing yoga for over 30 years and I have been sober for over 30 years. I've done lots...

 8/4/2022 Today I had an echo cardiogram. It was really cool to see my heart in action via ultra sound. They do this test to make sure that the heart is strong enough to withstand the chemotherapy drugs.  I was initially calling the chemo drugs poisons. A friend suggested I try the word potions and so yes, now they are my magic potions. My results were mostly normal. There was one thing that needs to be checked out so I'll see the cardio-oncologist (the heart/cancer doctor). For someone who has been healthy for most of their adult life, this has been an interesting fact-finding mission about my body. 8/5/2022 Met with a nutritionist from the cancer center to look at my eating habits and what I need to change during treatment. I was not surprised that she was happy with my diet. Every place I've looked, people talk about a plant-based diet for prevention of cancer and overall wellness. I've been doing a plant-based diet most of my life. She was unfamiliar with some of the su...

 8/1/2022 One of the things that's interesting is that I feel physically healthy. My mind has been reeling and I am so grateful for the skills I've developed over the years. I don't know where I'd be without them-breathing, meditation, movement and especially chanting. My teacher recorded a meditation for me because I've been struggling to settle my mind. It's really helping. Today at had an acupuncture session, which was also helpful for quieting my mind. The most challenging part was finding a parking place. I finally had to do the free valet. Sleep has been more challenging because of my busy mind. I'm hoping acupuncture will help with that. I have been baking a lot of muffins and freezing them for myself and for my family. I am feeling so supported by friends and family. I truly feel held. 8/3/2022 We drive to Farmington (40 min away) for me to have my port surgically placed. At first I was concerned about going to a different center, yet I found it new ...

This is my journal for my journey through Triple Negative Breast Cancer.  The plan is to share details to inform family and friends and to help others who may travel this journey. I don't know what I'll write yet so know that it could get emotional, well, because my emotions have been all over the place and there might be what some might consider TMI, yet I feel like there's so much that I'm learning that I didn't know even though I am a health/science/sexuality educator and well-informed and went through this journey with others in my life-most survived, some did not. I also know that I am a white passing woman with really good insurance, I speak English well, I am educated, and I have medical professions in my family. I have my own business and have a lot of flexibility in my schedule. I also have money in the bank to pay the numerous co-pays. And I have people around me to help support me emotionally, spiritually and physically through this process. 6/21/2022 Yea...